Hey, well so far my posts here have been really far between. I might start doing this more because it does feel good to put everything done in once place. I really hope it will be funny to read this when I am old. I just want to be able to say to myself “wow why the hell did you ever worry.” My ex girlfriend was talking to me again like she does every once in awhile. Usually it is ok because it is just stupid small talk that does not mean anything. Today however she asked me if we would ever be friends. I really do not know, but I am leaning more towards the side of no. It just hurts to much still to even think about her. Why am I such a mess. I should not have to write out my emotions like a girl. OH well at least one knows who this is. So yeah just questioning if the choices I have been making lately are the right ones. I hope not being a better boyfriend to my ex wasn’t the worst decision of my life. Just kind of sucks because its not like in a movie where you can skip a few months in the blink of an eye and just be onto my next relationship. Found a few girls at school I think would be kind of nice to date. But of course they turned me down. Guess we will have to see what life has for me down the road.